Monday, January 14, 2013

Change and the In-Between

Today I stood half asleep at the train platform, in one specific spot where the one specific door would open, so that when I arrived at my destination, I could exit the door in the spot closest to the stairs, providing me the quickest route to the bus, providing me the quickest access to the most comfortable spots on the bus. I have been doing this for three years. Today, the train pulled up, and my specific train doors were closed for maintenance. Jolted out of sleep, I rushed to the next car, adrenaline raking like hot coals through my organs. My lost sense of control was like life-and-death.

Trains are an example of an In-Between space, and meditating on trains helps one stay lucid in the In-Between, the transition, change that I find so cruelly painful. Change can be a a transition in jobs, a transition from life to death, or simply the transition from one present moment to the next. For me, there is much to be learned in staying lucid (maintaining crystalline awareness) and grounded throughout each In-Between.

My sense of control is supported by the Western science myth of oblivion, that once I die, I can finally release all control and float in blissful unconsciousness forever. But this may not be the case. I would like to begin training in navigating the In-Between not only I improve the quality of this incarnation, but I remain lucid upon body-death.

How do I balance the paradox of a limitless Spirit incarnated into solid matter? How do I embody a living architecture, rather than a clenched rectum, unable to release the shit?

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